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Beerbarons Keg

pull the plug and draw a stein

beerbaron

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Occupation:
Age:
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work hard play hard drink beer hard
Updated 6/23/2007
Updated 6/23/2007
Updated 1/1/2007
Updated 12/31/2006
Updated 12/31/2006
Updated 12/31/2006
Updated 12/31/2006
Updated 7/3/2005
Updated 5/15/2005
Updated 10/10/2005
Updated 4/23/2005
January 24

Guy Rules

The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­
 
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
 
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules " From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
 
 
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
 
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
 
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
 
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
 
1. Crying is blackmail.
 
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
 
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
 
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
 
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
 
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
 
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
 
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
 
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
 
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
 
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
 
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
 
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
 
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
 
1. You have enough clothes.
 
1. You have too many shoes.
 
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
 
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

December 31

pics

 Merry x-mas  and happy new year
 
 
 Just thought it was time to add a few photos to the site. Dropped a few in to show what I do for a living, and a few family ones. Hope you enjoy. I got the baroness a digital camera for X-mas so I'll try to keep updating the photos.  
January 08

canadian

I AM CANADIAN!!

Hey...
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...

and I don't live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...

and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,

although I'm certain they're really, really nice.


I have a Prime Minister, not a President.

I speak English & French, NOT ‘American’.

and I pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.

I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.

DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,

AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.

A TOQUE IS A HAT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,
AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE'!!!!

CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY! AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!

I AM THE BEERBARON & I AM CANADIAN!!!

October 10

It's too true
August 20

          Well we went and bought a new car. The bearing in the differential went in the old 87 caravan and with it having 385,000kms. on it we figured it must be time for a new ride. We bought a 2005 Honda Civic SE and boy is that a change from an 18 year old van. The ride is just fantastic and if were not careful we are going to get tickets for speeding.
August 07

Talking about It's Weird, but It's Ours

 A quote forom a Kiwi's blog check out her site http://spaces.msn.com/members/smilesnz/

Quote

It's Weird, but It's Ours

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language.  There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.  English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.  Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted.  But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.  And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?  If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?  One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?  If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?  If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?  If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.  In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?  Send shipments by car and send cargo by ship?  Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites?  How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?  How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown?  Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?  Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?  And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).  That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.  And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.


.. English ain't bein' spoke no good no more

more thingys

Your Hidden Talent
You have the power to persuade and influence others. You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around. The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it. Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think!
You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.
In a Past Life...
You Were: A Forlorn Priest. Where You Lived: Japan. How You Died: Buried alive.
You Know You're From Canada When...
You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk." You understand the phrase, "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield." You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars. You drink pop, not soda. You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway. You drive on a highway, not a freeway. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada. You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion and many more are Canadians. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian! You know what a touque is. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed" not "Zee". You understand the Labatt Blue commercials. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan." You perk up when you hear the theme song from "Hockey Night in Canada." You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary and more polite than, "Huh?" Winter. Whenever you want it. And then some. There's German food, Italian food, Chinese food, Armenian food, American food, but NO Canadian food. You call a "mouse" a "moose". You like the Americans a little because they don't want Quebec either. Contests run by anyone other than the government have "skill-testing questions" that winners must answer correctly before they can claim a prize. Everything is labelled in English and French. Milk comes in plastic bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs. Mountain Dew has no caffeine. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Canada.


blogthings

This is good for a laugh

   

 

 

 

Your Slanguage Profile

Canadian Slang: 75%
New England Slang: 50%
Prison Slang: 50%
Victorian Slang: 50%
Aussie Slang: 25%
Southern Slang: 25%
British Slang: 0%
April 24

dinner

how the hell do cook assparagas (hmmmmm....) then again how the hell do you spell it? Ahhhhhh.. oh hell i'll just boil it i guess. the baroness will love it no matter.

sundays

Today would be a day for yard clean up if it wasn't raining and cold! What the hells with the weather,  i dont think spring will ever actually arrive. Well I'll just have to do the normal inside stuff. Spent some time seaching for some long last relatives in the UK didnt have any luck. Looking for Willis'  if you know of any. well best go and try to get the smell of the dog and cat out of the carpet( thank god for febreeze). Later all.

April 10

New Space

So what do you think of my new space. Let me know.

Beerbaron

 
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